The Upside of Down

ok God, i know i prayed many times for you to use me
and even before i knew you, you decided to choose me
i'll be honest, sometimes i think you confuse me
with someone else because you couldn't possibly want me
now i know that may be crazy talk, my language needs to change
so i'm learning to walk with you so i'll no longer be lame
every obstacle and tragedy, every person that was mad at me
i understand now, it was all apart of a bigger strategy
a plan to win me over, to trust you, to believe
i'm trying to shut my ears from the distractions, i don't wanna be like Eve
you're showing me the flipside, i'm confronted with myself; i can't hide
i'm thirsty for your living aqua because its hard to swallow this pride
but you've changed my name and i'm just waiting as i'm under construction
you don't need an Oscar or Tony, but God you deserve a lifetime achievement in my life's production.

Forgotten

I had no concept. the only way to express my feelings was to let my pen take over... 

You'll probably answer my questions before I ask them
But I just don't understand this place I'm in
Why have you left me here? Am I to die in a place you promised to get me?
Look over there God; my bags have been packed from the moment you said I was free
Yet obviously, I'm still stuck here, while others have crossed to the other side
And I'm wondering "what happened that got me off the path if you were my guide?"
I feel like I've been abandoned, you left me to fight for myself
But you told me anytime I needed you, I could cry out for help
Well God, I've been crying so much, my tears have tears
And I've been standing here waiting for what seems like years
Forgive me for the frustration, help my understanding with all this
I just want out and its like I'm a target and the darts can't miss
I've seen your record, I've known you to be faithful before
But God, I'm watching your hands, yet you won't open the door
And I'm hurt to the core because I do for everyone and I am forgotten
I'm needed to push others to the top, but no one wants to pull me from the bottom
Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong; if so, help me see clearer
My vision is distorted, give me your eyes so I can see nearer
The storm is supposed to make me stronger, but this ship is killing me
Yet you allow the waves to move me back and forth, is that your way of healing me?
I want out of this; I want something fresh, is that too hard?
These bruises are hurting me and I'm collecting battle scars
Surely you know me God; I just wanna be real with you
I'm still alive in all this; question, how can I be made new?
Why do you have me alone all the time, I'm have nothing but my words
When I can't speak, my pen takes over to say what can't be heard
Dear God, I'm pouring my heart out to you... what more shall I do?!
I wanna praise and give thanks in all things, but I'm not in that mood
And all those promises God! What about them? Why haven't they been reached?
So many "words" spoken over me, my life has already been preached
I don't want this anymore; either I stay real or I'm just wasting your time
I want to be complete in all areas; God deliver me from time
Don't let me stay forgotten when you know I've been calling out
I get my hopes up thinking its out, but I don't come out
Trapped in a prison... that's how I feel, have I been given life?
No visitors, I'm in isolation, so I didn't do anything right?!
You know what? I can't say "I don't care" because evidently I do
I try to think on other things, but I come right back to You
And so many questions I have unanswered, am I meant to know?
Is this experience really supposed to teach me how to grow?
Well, I still don't get it... and I wish the plan you have would just be shown
Please don't tell me I could've gotten out but the opportunity was blown
I'm mad because you left me here! I've been screaming for a release
I'm being twisted, turned, stretched and I have no relief
How do I know if what I"m doing is for you or because man said so
And why do I get rebuked for even thinking about saying no?
Why is it that others are allowed to take a break?
But when I wanna stop I'm told to take my foot off the brakes
These are the questions I have and I know you to be true
For every question I see the answer lies in You
I'm pouring my heart out again, I desperately need answers and a change
What is it that you want? I'm ready for the exchange

When Two Become...

In Dedication to the Normans

can I ask a question? if good things come to those who wait

what is the secret for those wait for great?

man & woman created by the epitome of love in His image 

love is not a game; no need for a scrimmage 

no it's a commitment for two to be one as the One covers two 

for many plan the wedding but fail to plan after the "I Do" 

it's so true that no two people are the same; Yet, God saw fit to piece 

two pictures into one frame and form a link with Himself completing the chain 

How incredible is the journey on the road of life? 

God in his infinite plan brought you together starting under the street lights

your love never ceased and once it reached its height

you took the step of becoming husband and wife 

it didn't happen overnight, but that's alright 

the meaningful relationship you have is only a reflection of Christ

as you continue on the path love takes, God makes no mistakes

therefore allow nothing to cause your foundation to shake 

you now have one set of footprints; listen... you hear that? its one heartbeat

because when two become one, in Him you are complete

Beauty IN the Beast

dirt. yes, the stuff that shows i'm unclean
try to hide it, try to wipe it up like mr. clean
it takes too much effort to put on a scene
so i remove myself from behind the screen
see i was Christ-less, because I thought i needed Christ less
but the more that I saw myself, i realize i was dead wrong
yes i was dead... and wrong in my thinking
in my cup i was drinking a double shot of death
you could smell it on my breath
see the side-effects in every step because i could stand to see what i had become
but Jesus died so that even the beast within could have beauty
He took my old, so that he could give a new me
but there is a struggle to say the least
because how can I accept the beauty of His gift when daily i am a beast?
I feel inadequate to even speak, yet here i am sent to reach
using the very words that times cage me in
God, you know my ends and outs
oh God you know my doubts
oh God you see my heart before i ever open my mouth
oh God since you won't take me out
oh God since i must continue this route?
God help me appreciate the beauty that you've designed to bring out....

Castaway

repeatedly, its eating me
i don't like what they're feeding me
but i eat it up greedily
life must be one big game of "sike" or is everyone drunk from shots of "hype"?
we preach about the "light"
but its "after dark" that we ignite
i'm not ready, but surely i'm striving to be
I don't wanna be a castaway, cast away for eternity
it's like Noah, telling us to prepare for the rain
but because we don't see clouds we label him "insane"
yet the world smells like dew and we claim to know You
but God, obviously Your word must be hard to chew
we don't trust it enough to believe you'll deliver
we'd rather hand you over for thirty pieces of silver
we only want you when the time is good for us
all the other times we don't wanna hear about Jesus
God i can only speak for myself; forgive me for putting you on a shelf
to collect dust and sit for decoration
i pray that we understand the seriousness of salvation...