Terms & Conditions

God, I know we spoke about this last week

But hindsight is showing I should learn to think before I speak

Because I don’t know what I wanna do

I said I want to be used, but I didn’t think that You

Would use me day and night, this isn’t alright

Should I really be training for a daily fight?

I wanted this on my terms and conditions

What you’re wanting is my total submission

Can we meet in the kitchen? I’m looking at the ingredients

I’m not too sure the road I’m on is expedient

See what I really meant, was that you can use me to a certain extent

I saw other people going through and I’m like, “I’ll take the hint”

But I was crying in worship, saying, “Lord you can use me”

 Little did I know that meant I’d have to refuse me

Die to myself; put what I want toward the back of the shelf

Daily pour myself out to you; seek your direction and help

I know I signed the dotted line when I said yes

But this taking up my cross thing is killing my flesh

Ha! That’s what you want from me though… God you’re good

Because my flesh is slowing being destroyed like termites eating wood

So wait, it’s never really been about what I wanted in the first place?

Instead of what I want, I should really be seeking your face

The truth hurts, that’s probably one reason why we don’t read your word

Or why we don’t listen because then we’d have to be accountable to what is heard

Well God, I know my stubbornness can be a stumbling block

And I’m so glad you got me when you could’ve stayed with the rest of the flock

Look at me, Lord, I need to be completely made over

Cleanse my way of thinking; I need to humble myself lower

Lord I pray you make my life a representation

That you aren’t just meant for the Sunday congregation

You give the desires of our hearts but according to your will

Therefore, I’m determined to move forward even if that means standing still

Or being killed in the line of duty

All I want to do is behold your beauty

God, it’s yours truly; I thought I knew what I wanted in life

Now every day I see that all I really need is to prepare to be a wife

In other words, the bride of Christ and just let him in

After all, He took it all so I wouldn’t have to die in my sin

If I am to be more like you, then let me entreat this

Consume me so when people ask me who I am, I’ll say, “I would tell you but I no longer exist…” 

The End of an Error

To Whom It May Concern:


To the eyes that read this, I'd like to warn you that it. is. about. to. be. on.! LOL

It's really sad how you have to go the long way to learn stuff, you know? But at the same time, I'm learning to be grateful for the process... even when I can be stubborn. 

Yes I just admitted that I can be stubborn....

So, with that being said, I want to thank God for who He is and where He is taking me! In other news, my poetry is coming along great... I have been heavily inspired by the support system I have around me, as well as what I have been walking through.



Two volumes of poetry have been completed and I'm working on my third... which is entitled, "Experience is Necessary." This volume will be based on different situations in the bible and how they relate to today.


PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep me in prayer and I will do the same for you! 




God Bless!


Broken Whole,
...

32°

Can somebody turn up heat? My heart was getting colder

Can’t lie, look into my eyes, Lord I need your shoulder

I need different results, so I’m going to go a new way

Open the eyes of my heart because I can’t always go by what my lips say

And it’s a new day, yet my feet are in rewind

Doing the same thing, looking for different results? I’ve lost my mind

I’m in search of the cross; I saw the bill, I know the cost

If I’m to have the same mind as Jesus, then I pray that my mind stays lost

Yes lost in you, until I’m made brand new

I held myself prisoner until I read Romans 8: 1-2

I know there is purpose and a calling on my life

The enemy knows that too, that’s why he wanted me to stay away from the light

But I gotta walk toward the Christ, because he is my goal

He’s calling me higher, yet I continued to put Him on hold

And in the process my fire died until it was practically gone with the wind

I wanted to end the relationship like, “I don’t need you as a friend.”

And the sad part about it is I didn’t want to admit the reality of the danger

The danger lies in God saying, “Depart from me, you’re a stranger.”

And who am I to live a life that kindles God’s anger?

Breathe life back into me Lord, I feel like I’m being strangled

The taste of this life is nasty; I tried just sipping from this cup

The more I sip, the more gets poured, but you told me to drink it up

For so long I declared that I was called to go global

Then you brought me back and said, “Well, first try going local.

I’ve placed you in Jerusalem, to be a light to your friends and fam.

I’m humbling you before you’re exalted, so count it humbling to exalt the Lamb

My ways are not yours; my thoughts are beyond finding out

My plans are established even before coming from my mouth

So don’t you think I know the plans that I have for you?

Before you can come out, you have to first learn how to get through.”

It’s snowing outside, but I’m thankful for the sign that was sent

I know you’re in this storm with me, I just saw your footprints…

Broken Whole,

C. Renee’

Let's Go Up!

This is my first blog of 2011 and my first blog in several months... so I'm definitely overdue. Please charge my head and not my heart! I'm excited and honored to share the words God has given me. Sometimes I can be my biggest hindrance because I'm a perfectionist and procrastinator... (Lord, help me lol) I have a LOT more than what is on this blog... but I'm coming.

Fear has kept me from a lot of things, but (touch your neighbor and slap the other in the back and say)

"It's time."

Please keep me lifted in prayer; I appreciate the support of those who stop by and read my poetry. I'm amazed because I know that God has placed this in me, I just never fully realized the impact it had on others...

So with that being said, "I'm about to do some thangs."

Let's Go Up!!!

Numbers

Written By C. Renee'
©2010 Sirius Peace of crySTYLE

"Only God can judge me" is the # 1 saying when avoiding conviction
But if God really judged us where we are, we couldn't handle his diction
Don't get me wrong, I mean I know that God is the ultimate judge
But He's been handing out verdicts and some of us still haven't budged
I guess we just don't get it; when Christ comes back He's coming with a vengeance
He'll carry a life sentence for His elect; a death sentence for those who chose to reject
As the church we gotta do more than just CLAIM to be spiritual
You can't say you're in relationship if you're just practicing a ritual
Pep rallies filled with high fives and slapping neighbors
Excuse me, but let's fade that back like a taper
We look spiritually thin like a wafer, blank like a sheet of paper
Yet screaming, "Lord, take us higher," like a skyscraper
We'll go to a conference to learn about 5 steps
But won't go to the scriptures to seek genuine help
We turn around 3 times to reach the breakthrough
But yet, we won't give God the opportunity to break through
So we toss Him out like a tissue, only talk to Him if there's an issue
But this lukewarm temperature is making us sick like the flu
Worship is intimacy that requires us to unveil ourselves in the presence of God
So why are we afraid of a requirement that comes with the job?
Is it because worship causes us to be real
And reveal those things we work so hard to conceal
Let’s be real, a pair of lips can say anything, but do our hearts love Him madly?
If we only love Him for what He gives, then we might as well call him a sugar daddy
But I'm glad He wrote the script, praying when He gives the book of Life a flip
He'll find my name written because I chose to be blood dipped
I'll be the first to acknowledge there were times my foot slipped
But in this leg of the race I keep my laces tied because I can't afford to trip
Jesus called the Pharisees hypocrites; they were spitting venom like snakes
The same is true today when taking advantage of His grace
The outside of the cup is rocking suits, diamonds and titles
While the inside is all stained up from being idle
We treat each other like rivals, fighting for survival
Like we don't represent the living God of the bible
Where are the end time disciples? Those not afraid of this sort of speech
Those who sit down and let their lifestyles step up and preach
Ones who see the souls to reach, and say, "Holiness is what we teach"
Don't just listen to what I say if you can't understand the direction of my feet
I want to rep Christ all day, just call me his hype man
Just call Jesus "Allstate" because with Him you're in good hands
Come on church! It's more than just going to musicals and concerts
More than anything we should be showing the world God's worth!
News flash: you're only as anointed as the last time God used you
Remember God will still get the glory with or without you
It’s time for us to step up to the plate like a batter
There's a feast going on but we're too busy looking at the serving platter
While pockets are getting fatter from exploiting the market
If we are to provoke change, we must be the ones to spark it
We are already targets because we choose proclaim His name
But to do all this and still not make it in; now that would be a shame
I’m just trying to make it plain; not one person is exempt
With the spirit and flesh at odds, without the mercy of God, we’d all be held in contempt
The smell of deception in the church continues to grow
But we can’t see the wolf past the sheep’s clothes
So we run to find a word, race to hear a prophecy
Then wonder why the world makes us a total mockery
This is not how it ought to be, we should be the change they see
But we can’t if we live as though sin has us held in captivity
Have you noticed how people major in the minor and minor in the major?
All sin offends God, but we live like we don’t see the danger
This walk calls for a daily cross bearing session
We repeat tests because we haven’t learned the aim of the lesson
The bible answers all, yet we still keep guessing
I never said it would be an easy road; I’ll be the first to say I still keep pressing
But what I’m saying is, if your house was dirty, you wouldn’t want to show it off
But if you got something new, you would want everyone to see what you bought
Well that’s the same with Christ, why would he come back for a dirty bride?
Why would He show her off to His father, when she’s seeing someone else on the side?
Once we truly make up our minds and realize we weren’t called to blend
We’ll stop telling God, “I love you but I can only commit to you once a weekend”
Please friends, I know this truth cuts deep like a sword
To complete the picture, look at the scripture; judgment first begins in the House of the Lord

Me Vs. Re

So... its been several months, but I've decided to come back into the "ring." I have been writing, so I'll do my best to post regularly. This piece comes out of a "fight" that I'm currently fighting to get out of... (hopefully this poem will help you understand what that means) and if you haven't figured it out by now, poetry is very therapeutic for me. So maybe you can relate to this... whatever the case may be, I put my heart on display that Christ may be glorified...

Me Vs. Re
© 2010 Sirius Peace of crySTYLE

This fight that I’m in is on a level of immeasurable proportions
This is crazy; mind twisted, you would have thought I was doing contortions
I didn’t sign up for this, or if I did I surely didn’t read the fine print
Perhaps I should’ve asked questions to find out what this journey meant
You know what it is? There is a war going on with me trying to sit on the sidelines
Yet I told Him yes, which means at this point I must obey His guidelines
I want to hide just so I can get away from it all
But what’s the point? When I know that I’ve been called
Knock me out already, so I can get out of the ring
Why do I keep getting back up? Why must you give me another song to sing?!
I have these scars and walking with this noticeable limp
Then I have to prepare for the next round even with a dislocated hip!
My tears tell on me when I’m trying my best to keep silent
Then when my heart wants to express, then I become quiet
What good does it do for me to quit? Re will still be with me
She’s fighting me because there is greatness that I can’t see
Now I know it’s not about me, not about the ability
However, if I’m going to stay, I need stability
I need to get it together; I know this is going to make me better
Right now, all I want to do is stay inside and not deal with this weather
Don’t make me go outside, just let me heal
Where are my shades so my bruises can be concealed?
Would you look at that? Re teamed up with purpose! That’s who I’ve been fighting?
So that’s why when I drop my pen somehow I still end up writing!
Fingers somehow still play to calm the raging seas in my mind
It makes sense, because I knew something was different this time
Re tried to tell me to stay strong, that this fight won’t last long
But I didn’t want to hear it; I told her she was so wrong!
Fact vs. truth; guess which one I believed?
Saw this coming, but guess which report I received?
I’ve been on and around this mountain and built myself a home
Instead of fighting myself, I should be fighting what has held me all along
Just take me to the interrogation room; I’ll answer plus I have some confessions to make
Don’t wait up for me; I’m not sure how much time this one will take…

Broken Whole,

…

October Rain

Inspired by: A Testimony...

Written By C. Renee’

Copyright: 2009 Sirius Peace of crySTYLE

I got my umbrella out because they say when it rains it pours
Ok God, you got my attention so let me get yours
I know what I need to do; yet my feet go the opposite direction
So here I am before you for a full point inspection
Connection? My dots were tangled up with the wrong things
They say it’s my season but my eyes have yet to see spring
I was all talk and no action, life full of subtraction
But I guess I had to get sick of myself like an allergic reaction
It’s raining hard, but this weather isn’t like the norm
This is cleaning me, revealing me, so I know it was God-formed
I see a vessel being crafted; I’m still on the potter’s wheel
The inside of the cup is dirty; remove what has been concealed
You continued to call me all the while I was pressing ignore
Yet when I’m in trouble I cry out for you to bring me to the shore
I hear the thunder; I see the lightning; my flesh and spirit are fighting
If I am what I eat, I need to check the food that I’m biting
I feel like Paul steady praying about this thing in my flesh
But if I want to live that means first I must experience death
I need to die to me because inside of me? Nothing is good
And evil is always present when doing what I should
I’m on this same mountain because I have yet to pass this lesson
Yet knowing that I would be here you allow the spirit to be in intercession
Continue to fall like dew, until I’m made brand new
Give me a clearer perspective to see your point of view
I contemplated spiritual suicide, but you brought prevention
Going downhill, you stepped in as my intervention
Not to mention, you saw me expiring but gave me an extension
Gave me benefits with the blood of Jesus as my pension
Guard my mind with maximum security
You’re holy God; that’s why I’m chasing purity
This rain is revealing the face behind the makeup
I gotta deny myself to follow you; there’s a cross I have to take up
A mind I have to make up; strongholds that need to break up
I’ve slept away purpose too long; now its time to wake up
Time to do a shake up; shout it from the rooftop
My tears of restoration remind me of the raindrops
A drop here, a drop there; but look closer at my huddle
When all is said and done, eventually those drops become a puddle
Who am I to tell the potter how to form the clay?
Especially when it’s Your will I need to obey
You know the plans you have for me; in this place I won’t always stay
Even if I have to learn to grow in the storm, rain you can go all day…

(I’ve Noticed) THE Hidden Agenda (Pt. 3)

Written By C. Renee’
© 2009 Sirius Peace of crySTYLE

Let Me ask you, what is a way that You rob Me?
You can have perfect attendance and still not be a part of the body
Building. Healing. Revealing the Killing. Coming to My house just for a feeling
But I’ll reveal who you are like paint that is peeling
Caught up in nothing; overlooking what I really want you to see
Got a shot of “feel good,” leaving Me a tip, calling it a seed
Please believe sisters and brothers, I’m removing the covers of your heart
Too many identical twins walking around; I’ve called you to be set apart
Some are out of control like a runaway shopping cart
Secretly selling themselves just so they can top the charts
But do you realize who I am? I mean do you really know?
You get bored with Me 'cause what I call perfect timing, you call slow
But I am that I am, on the throne I reign supreme
You say that you serve Me, but spiritually we compete for the title of King
Your title, your gifts, your talents, they mean nothing without your will
Being torn down, otherwise you’re fake like a counterfeit bill
What if I told you that I haven’t taken you out because you’re still in doubt
I know your thoughts before you think, even while you move your mouth
When My Son comes back, if you’re not in the book, you’re out like three strikes
I send My word to warn but people ignore it because of who is behind the mic
I’ll use whomever I want to get My point across
Living in this sinful nature is like putting Jesus back on the cross
You compromise and use My holy word to justify
But My word can’t be twisted, which makes your truth a lie
Where is My remnant? Who will stand up against this?
I’m calling you forward so when they see, they’ll say, “Those are God’s kids.”
Just because I don’t judge it right after the act
I may have paused the judgment, but trust, I’ll be back
I’m knocking on your heart’s door but your sign says, “do not disturb”
The relationship didn’t go the way you wanted so now I’m on the curb
Church services are hyped up; its entertainment all over the nation
Ha! They say, “Lord we welcome you,” but where is the invitation?
Wheat mixed with tares; don’t worry, it’s time for separation
But when the game is over, they’ll be wanting overtime out of desperation
So what is church anyway? Isn’t that what I called you to be?
Check My word, John 1:1, I am the decree
I’m speaking loud, mouth moving, but the people have Me on mute
Running rapid, Satan is out working, looking for recruits
Now I’m not in fear because I declared victory from the beginning
I’ll give you a hint, read Deut. 30: 19 so you can be a part of the winning…


-Get out the P.O.T.S.! ™ (Poetry on the Spot)

My Purpose Is Greater Than My Fight

Inspired by: A message preached during the Kingdom Revival
Dedicated to: Shawn Johnson

© 2009 Sirius Peace of crySTYLE

Before time was time, God had me on his mind
Shaped and formed me with words to give the world a sign
His word is law like a judge with a gavel
But what happens when my life is like a thread being unraveled?
When I wanted to throw in the towel because the fight got hard
People saw my black eye and said I let down my guard
I had to roll with the punches, sought my trainer for the strategy
Spectators thought I was down for the count, what a tragedy
While I was down and out, my name was in everyone’s mouth
But when I began to get back up, people still wanted to knock me out
Mind games being played, at war with my brain
What do I look like being saved but insane?
I’ll stay in my lane, until God says I can change
I dance in spite of my circumstance and they look at me strange
But I look at you strange because why wouldn’t I praise Him until my change comes?
I walk this one out because it’s by the words of my testimony that I overcome
I know you wanted me to stay in the tomb and live in lo debar
The King has need of me even while living with these scars
Get a good look at me, go ahead and laugh
My God is a keeper even in the aftermath
You’ll look at me and wonder, “Girl, who are you?”
But baby I’m brand new, so I don’t look like what I’m going through!
That devil should’ve taken me out while he had the opportunity
He couldn’t cross the bloodline because God granted me immunity
So loose me and let me go, I’ve been planted its time to grow
I’m walking in the overflow; darkness wanted me, but watch me glow
I’m in surgery as God removes me from me, just so you know
What I went through once before? Now peace has become my status quo
My purpose is greater than my fight; therefore, though the fight will still come
Because I keep my eyes on the Christ, what I behold is what I become!

Sin Nature

I go by Nature, Sin Nature; I specialize in working your flesh
I cause you to have a wrestle in your members; it’s what I do best
I got a history; yeah I have a rap sheet... I go way back
Let's see, you can check me out in Genesis 3 as a matter of fact
See how I shine, made man spiritually blind
Yeah, I take credit for the division between you and the Divine
Come on; don't act like you don't like what I can do for you
I can change any situation and you wouldn't have a clue
Lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and the pride of Life
Envy, Jealousy, Deceit, Murder, Wickedness, and Strife
You were born attached to me, call us conjoined twins
I work for the Prince of darkness, gotta make sure he wins
Gotta make sure you blend, keep staying caught up with the things of this life
Tell me what you want I got it, but only if the price is right
You can't go to the light, stay in the dark with me
My products I can back up with an eternal guarantee
Don't believe me, check Revelation 3:16 or Matthew 7:23, there's no mistake
The party will be hot; the after party will feature a blazing lake
This God that you say you serve wants you to kill me and your flesh daily
But when you don't walk after the spirit, your flesh has a sign that says, "Feed me"
And who am I to deny that request; it simply takes knowing your pleasure
Read the scripture, wherever your heart is, there lies your treasure
Ha! Yeah, I know the scriptures, probably better than you do
If this is hard to swallow, I gotta ask, "How long did you chew?"
Something about eating the whole scroll? Isn't that in the book?
I'll hold while you blow the dust off and take a look
Wait, why am I helping you? I'm defeating the whole purpose
You're so focused on fixing the outer; your level is completely surface
No, I start from the inside out; I see your heart through your mouth
What you say I feed on; I'm like a weed starting to sprout
All the time I hear people praying, but with the same lips it's venom they're spraying
Sinners sashaying, man, it’s me they're obeying
You say you love God? Do you mind if I check your fruit?
Everything that grows has to spring from the root
So I’m wondering how corruption brings forth good produce
You'll give an account for what we did together, so excuses have no use
Everyday my guest list grows from people who don't have faith in your God
What's funny is there are some "church folk" on here; isn't that odd?
I laugh at what you call church because to me I don’t see the separation
Instead what I see is a dedication to become like the world, but that’s desperation
So, I hope you’re taking a self-evaluation and making your way to the altar of your heart
Let me tell you, there is no end to an eternity in Hell once it starts

(Tell the Devil) I Changed My Mind

Copyright: 2009 Sirius Peace of crySTYLE

Looking at my family history, in my bloodline holds authority
Though lately Lord, it’s seemed like less of You and more of me
I know that’s not how it’s supposed to be; resist the devil and he has to flee
But first I had to die to me; get back to the point where “you and I” becomes “we”
I could see the affects; dealing with spiritual dementia
Obviously I wasn’t in my word; the flesh had its own agenda
Because this body has no penalty; the strikes to get out this game go beyond three
Ready to act up, ready do what it wants with no reverence for the King
Listen closely though, my spirit is gearing up for battle in the spirit
There is a kingdom sound, look at the rumbling of the ground; do you hear it?
Now I’m going through these side effects; looking for God, barely seeing a silhouette
At this point I guess I’m chasing a shadow
Where are my tools to break up this ground? It sure is fallow
Where I am is not where I used to be; yet, I’m on the narrow road to destiny
Having conversations with my thoughts; that bad boy got me caught
From past lessons I should’ve been taught, but I didn’t see that I had been bought
Bought with a price that cash could never address;
I now see I can’t leave home without him like American Express
And now I’m undressed, He put me on the press
If Jesus learned obedience through suffering, why should mine be any less?
Man I confess, there were a few times I let my foot slip
Should’ve tied my spiritual laces so I wouldn’t trip
I was fighting against purpose and calling it self-defense
Thought I could handle the inheritance before time to leave my Father’s fence
Call me the Prodigal Daughter; hindsight always has the perfect lenses
When I realized my Father’s house was better, I came back to my senses
For the record, His records say I am destined to reach nations
In eternity past I was mentioned in God’s conversation
Nothing surprises Him; not even the mistakes that I make
The blood of Jesus is my eternal warranty when I began to break
So I just thought I’d make the atmosphere aware of my declaration
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and after careful consideration
The enemy may have made a contract for me to sign on the dotted line
But I tear it up in the spirit; tell the devil I CHANGED MY MIND!

Breakthrough In My Brokenness (Side B)

Inspired by: H. Shawn Norman

I see now that you had me in the fire, with a purpose like Jeremiah
For in my mother’s womb you shaped me with destiny and a desire
A desire to speak to nations, seek your truth with wisdom and revelation
And through your word offer the joy of your salvation
So through the years and tears, the joys and the fears
You placed strength in me I didn’t realize I had to help me persevere
Father, can you make it clear? My “there” is now here
I’ve been chosen and considered for such a time as this
Yet, I need you to restore me; heal me in spite of my brokenness
This test came with some lessons perhaps I couldn’t study for
However, this has only brought me to a place of dwelling on your threshing floor
And now I need you more and more; possibly more than the day before
When I thought I was losing this race, you stepped in my place to even the score
If it’s not one thing, it’s another; tried to stay under the covers
For a split second I thought you didn’t care until you reminded me that we were lovers
You love me where I am, while loving me to where I am going to be
You changed up the recipe so I wouldn’t give up on the road to destiny
You’re the God who specializes in storms that get worse
You’re the only one I know who can speak to the waves and command them to reverse
Lord, quench my thirst; no better yet, keep me longing for your water
If everything was 100, there would be no need to stay on the altar
When I began to falter, Lord please keep me on the straight and narrow
I must keep pressing; draw me back like a bow to an arrow
Continue watching over me like your eye is on the sparrow
I no longer desire to stay in Egypt; give me the boldness to speak to Pharaoh
Your word says if I abide in You, in me You will abide
But sometimes, I can barely eat the main entrée let alone the sides
Entangled in a web like my issues have gone worldwide
I thought I had the combination to the lock but my access was denied
Like Jacob, I’m walking this one out but holding on to my hip
“Angel, I won’t let you go even if it means tightening up my grip!”
My tears began to drip because to You they are prophetic
Wherever you go I’ll follow; wow, now that’s magnetic
It might be hectic, might feel neglected; but for you I’ve been elected
It was unexpected, might be rejected; but my life is Christ’s; therefore, it is reflected
I’m steadfast to your promise; it’s in your word that I hide
When you’re ready to turn this track over, Lord I know you’ll “show me the flipside”!

Broken Whole,
...

Broken Whole...

Dedicated to: YOU

Somewhere along the line I was told that my misery was my ministry
But when I look back and reflect, I wonder if I failed miserably
I see the eyes of a few, then I wonder what to do, the path I choose
Where do I go from here? Grow from here? Show from here?
Someone said, “Have no fear,” but my glass is unclear
My heartbeat is racing; I’m pacing back and forth in decision
Words are the sharp knife that nearly took my life; what an incision
So I check my shoes because they seem to no longer fit
Let me go get a fresh towel, one I can throw in when I quit
Let me spit. Let me get this out real quick
I was at the scene of the crime, I’ll admit it
I’m not sure at what point I killed me
I realize perhaps at my own expense the evidence reveals that I’m guilty
I’m trying to breathe in deep but I smell a different kind of aroma
I’m walking away numb to it all like a spiritual coma
Yet, I’m zoned out; my oil supply is tapped out
I thought I had a way out, had my way mapped out
Ref, can I call a time out? Is it time for me to sit out?!
I’m not just moving my mouth, I’m know I’m talking out loud
How is it that you say I’m free though I feel bound?
How can you be on cloud nine while I’m still on the ground?
You picked me up and shattered me; it caused me to be in pieces like Reese’s
As much as I’ve lived this life, it feels like I’m still on the first sentence of my thesis
In spite of the brokenness, looking forward I know the point is this
I’d rather have God be for me than become a target on His hit list
Don’t dismiss this; He’s the savior of this misfit
Even though I know at times I can be my own worst critic
I’m like parts of a puzzle waiting to show the complete picture
I’m the clay in His sculpture; go back and read the scripture
Everything in me wanted to give up based on what I saw with my eyes
And who do I trust when truth reveals itself to be lies?
Can’t say I’ve been in this place before, this is definitely new
So you’re saying I’m a daily work? I guess I’ll gear up for round two
I might be pieces the Master created to say the least
But He broke me to make me whole; therefore I’m a masterpiece…

Dominant Gene

Copyright 2009 Sirius Peace of crySTYLE

This is a story about a guy named Gene
Gene was so clean you could see it in his lean
He stayed focus; yet, people took it as being mean
Gene was very humble; one well oiled machine
I remember the day Gene came on the scene
His presence was cool, calm and so serene
This dude’s prominence was unlike anything I’d ever seen
Finding someone with his dominance was far and in between
I wanted to find out what made Gene so keen
He had everyone hyped up like caffeine
Maybe he had a daily habit or a morning routine
So I asked, “Is it ok, if I ask a question Gene?”
Gene said, “Ask what you will my queen.”
I asked, “How do you shine so bright people need sunscreen
And you make a person’s heart go on like Celine?
Boy you’re more positive and inspirational than Joel Osteen
While others are pulling weeds, your grass is always green”
He smiled at me as he straighten his blue jeans
“I’m no one special; just a young man from a town called Killeen
I guess my life changed around the age of sixteen
I was visiting a church when I met a woman named Kathleen
Kathleen was a kind woman who introduced me to her younger sister Maxine
They talked to me about a man from whom I could glean
They told me though I was infected by sin, this man provided the vaccine
I thought, “What would this man want with this teen?”
I was filthy all over but that day, God gave me a steam clean
I tried to hide, but down inside He saw through me like a door screen
When I look back, I see now it was God who kept me from dangers unseen
What’s funny is I’m just a student and everyone is out to make me the dean
And everyone wants to be like me; ask my boy Eugene
But honestly, ask yourself are you willing to be stretched like a widescreen?
People say they want meat but can’t get off milk because they refuse to be weaned
I’m a Prince adopted into the royal family; the Holy Spirit fills me like a canteen
I was made in the image of my Daddy; after all He’s the King!"

Check Ya Appetite

Written By C. Renee’
Copyright 2009 Sirius Peace of crySTYLE


Have we become so careless that we could care less about our health?
Because we’re so hungry we will eat anything off the shelf
Shoving everything down our throats, keeping it to our self
Becoming heavy to the point the buckle has to be loosen around our belt
At first it was good but the outcome was something you didn’t anticipate
Should have looked and read the expiration date; sorry two days late
If only we’d wait, we’d realize some things aren’t meant for our plate
But desperation follows so we swallow at any rate
Spiritually bulimic we go for anything we can get our hands on
But then throw it back up when the feeling doesn’t last long
Now my warning may cause some to turn their backs on me
But I believe there is a reason labels have “Nutrition Facts” in plain sight to see
Just because it’s edible doesn’t mean it’s meant for you to eat
Just like every word God gives you isn’t meant for you to speak
Every story you hear isn’t meant for you to repeat
Just like every shoe that comes out isn’t meant to touch your feet
So what am I saying? Sometimes we make ourselves sick them blame the enemy
It’s the classic “He Said, She Said;” “Who did it? ‘Not me’”
Tipping the scale because we’re overweight with the cares of this life
Then we get upset when our nutritionist suggests that our portions get sliced
Or would you rather get sliced? His word is the sharpest knife
I’m just trying to point you to the Christ; now that’s what I call, “Seeing the light”

Friends Pt. 1

I started writing this poem back in January ('09), and yet it still isn't complete. Usually when I need to get something off my mind or heart, I grab a pen and pad and just flow... but this one?! This has to be one of the most difficult pieces I've written. I realized I'm going to have to break it up in parts because there's just too much I have to say... I could only write a few lines at a time because it was too heavy. Even before posting this I tried to continue, but I just said, I'd post this as "Friends Pt. 1" Don't hesitate to comment on this one...

::WARNING: this poem is about as real as it gets!::

Copyright: 2009 A Peace of crySTYLE

I was 6 years old when I was introduced to this friend
He knew what he wanted; he never tried to pretend
It started out with an inappropriate touch
Yet gave the attention I was looking for much
But it left me so confused, thinking and feeling misused and abused
Never realized that this would open the door to other issues
So this friend followed me everywhere throughout school
Had me going out of character, playing a character who wanted the “in” crowd that was cool
But I didn't anticipate nor appreciate the date his friend played me for the fool

When I was 6 years old I was introduced to this friend
Then he said, “Let me introduce you to my friend.”
So this friend's attack was real close to me; it was family
And still to this day I think, “Why did it have to be me?”
He used family members on both sides
Never saw it coming yet the door was open wide
One got caught, the other didn't; I had nowhere to hide
Yet this friend was there watching from the sideline
Too ashamed to speak my heart was weak, I kept it all inside


When I was 12 I was introduced to a friend who had connections
Had me looking to everything but THE SOURCE for affection
My heart had no protection; thoughts had no correction
My eyes were blind, I had no sign; I was walking in the wrong direction
Seeking for love's perfection, my mind said there was no such thing
So this friend started playing tricks on me
First I started seeing stuff; then I started hearing voices
It affected what I did and why I made my choices
This bold guy introduced himself as “Perversion”
He had me so messed up; I was in complete submersion


When I was 15 years old I was introduced to a friend who love me to death
In fact His sole mission was to take away my breath
His name was Depression and he had a cousin named Suicide
I guess they liked me because they came over all the time
If my life could be a shopping spree, I’d say they were splurging
Doing anything and everything to keep my life swerving
So I tried to get rid of them, notice I said, “me”
I guess they told me there would be a cost if I wanted to be free
But see, the devil became a master of photography
The only thing is his pictures where images of pornography
Branded deep inside of me, Perversion wasn’t no joke
He figured I wouldn't move if my spirit he continued to choke...

To be continued....

I’ll Take It From Here

Written By C. Renee’
Copyright: 2009 Sirius Peace of crySTYLE

I know that Tuesday you thought you wouldn’t make it through
My word never fails; I told you I’d be there for you
Remember I was there too; I did what I had to
I see the brokenness, but trust I am the glue
But see now I miss you, you haven’t talked to me since
I’ve been trying to get your attention, but not once have you flinched
So is that how it’s going to be? I thought you said you trusted me?
I walked right by you that day; was it that you didn’t want to see?
How do you think this makes me feel? Didn’t you say yes to MY will?
I know the pain and hurt is real, remember I watched my Son be killed
I hold life and death in my hand like that red and blue pill
I’ll protect you if you’ll allow me to be your shield
So let me take it away…

I’m speaking from my heart; Lord that day was hazardous
I thought you’d raise her up; after all, you spoke life to Lazarus
Yet on that day, as my sister faded away from us
I had to come to grips that your ways are always just
Lord forgive me for not speaking to you
My praise should be the same no matter what I’m going through
I know this experience is a lesson I must learn
You gotta help me; my mind is almost at a point of no return
No one saw this one coming, our eyes were so blind
Yet even in this you saw the opportunity for your light to shine
If life were a symphony, I need to be put back on the right key
Look at my plate; my mental state is borderline insanity
I’ll stop; no more play…


Dedicated to: Shawn Johnson
In Memory of: "Tori" Foley

Hidden Agenda Too

Hidden Agenda Too
Copyright: 2009 Sirius Peace of crySTYLE

We want Christ to do all the work while we get paid
Let Him be the sacrifice while we sit in the shade
Thinking we got it made, thinking we need no aid
When in fact many are border-lining from worldly and being saved
We don’t wanna be the sacrifice, don’t wanna live the life
Don’t wanna rep the Christ, don’t wanna pay the price
Don’t wanna be cut and sliced, don’t wanna remove the ice
From around our heart, instead we’re infected like a head with lice
Did you think you’d be exempt from all of the persecution?
This walk isn’t like sports; you can’t call for a substitution
Yet God had a resolution, He sent Christ as a contribution
To pay for the sins of the world; now that’s distribution
And the message in the pulpit? No wonder the church is sick
When it came to the draft, the world got the number one pick
The church wants to be the world; the world desperately wants the church
News flash: using the devil to win devils just won’t work
Think about it: it’s impossible, let’s be logical
What I’m saying isn’t deep; it doesn’t take being theological
In fact it’s probable; look at the mounting evidence
Go back to Genesis, we’ve been running ever since
Back and forth, around the court, changing sports
Building forts all because we’re afraid to be on one accord with the Lord
Ready to go overboard because we didn’t get the prize we were hoping for
Walking away from the game because He wasn’t the right guy behind the door
And like an open sore, if not medicated it gets worse
Being out of order trying to get blessed will get you cursed
Go back and check your thirst; what are you drinking?
If it’s not the living aqua, then what are you thinking?
Deception is quickly soaking up the land
No one wants the truth; lies seem to be in high demand
Like quick sand so many are sinking fast
We can’t move from our past because we want the hurt to last
I’m not one to blast, but it must be said
We’re living an open book test with answers that are barely read
Like a magazine life is nothing but a subscription of issues
So like a sequel to this movie, this one is to be continued…

Broken whole,

C. Renee’

Hidden Agenda

::I REALLY I hope this touches someone!::

People used to get hated by the world and bring the church their hurt
Now they go back to the world because they got hurt in the church
But what we don't seem to realize is that the church is just a building
And it’s the spirit of God who dwells inside that provides the healing...
Now a day’s people leave the church because of "he say, she say"
Then say it was the spirit moving them into a new way
Okay, please believe that I hear what you say,
But church isn’t Burger King, you can't always have it your way
We concentrate more on the messenger than the message
And if he didn't hoop and we didn't holler, we didn't get our blessing
If we only realized that we are the church within the building
There would be fewer witnesses every Sunday to spiritual killing
Modern-day Pharisees, we're so quick to judge the sick
And if they don't fit our mold of "saint," we rush them out quick
Though saved by grace, we've all fallen short of His glory
God knows us better than ourselves, its HIStory
We compete against each other; best shout, longest tongue
And promote ourselves for getting saved so young
We conform to the world, but when has the world conformed to us?
When have you known for a secular artist to open up for Jesus?
And because this is so accepted, no wonder we're lukewarm
Using the world to win the world is only causing harm
I think I found the weapon formed and it’s growing by the minute
The bible says to be not of this world though we live in it
And this generation of youth conform their lifestyle to fit in a culture
That doesn't realize its path will led to eternal torture
And I guess everybody is going to Heaven; no one talks about Hell
Yet the fact is with each second it continues to swell
I should no longer dwell on the subject, its too scary
Doesn't have to be that way if we repent and say, "Lord, prepare me."
Time is winding up and there are only two destinations
And where we spend eternity all depends on our salvation
Don't let anyone tell you, you have to get better before you can be better
Jesus can meet you where you are and put you together
Whether in the world or in the church, we'll face hurt that's life
But there's nothing like the experience of being covered in the blood of Jesus Christ!

Broken whole,

C. Renee'

Good Mornting! This is my first official post on this blog! Yay! Please bare with me as I make this transition... I do have other sites and things of that nature, so I'm just trying to get organized. With that said, I ask that you please express your thoughts and comments :) Know that I write on inspiration and I will definitely "go there," and keep it real at the same time! lol

Feel free to visit my other blog http://1anointedgurl.blogspot.com There is more to come!!! :)