The Battle For My "Yes"

The purpose of this cross I carry isn’t for me to live

But die to myself and refrain from what I think God should give

The fact is I’m at war and the enemy couldn’t be any clearer

The devil is probably laughing cause my biggest fighter is staring in the mirror

Verbally I made a commitment, but it wasn’t enough to be content

So my “yes” had no weight because I had no “wait” in my letter of consent

Who am I to give an Almighty God certain conditions?

When He is sovereign and has proven time after time He doesn’t need permission

But like I said, there’s a battle going on because I wanna “do me”

And when God called my name, I was like, “who me?!”

I had to come to grips that the limp from my hip was to remind

He is God, I’m not; His will should be done not mine

And I understand this; don’t get me wrong

It’s in the wilderness I’m learning how to speak to these bones

It’s like; within me is a passion for this gift

But without God being glorified, I’m simply a boat going adrift

Every day I’m in the process, praying I’m making progress

But evidently, it’s not time to stay on the sidelines and rest

I’m still alive in areas that should be dead to me

It reminds me of that conversation the serpent had with Eve

God, I’m praying for renewal, restoration, and revival

If I’m to be a conqueror, then I retreat to You as my survival

You know what I want, what I long for; how I feel

Rescue me from the fighter within me and be my shield

The mind is a playground for thoughts and a prison if consumed

In order to bear fruit on a tree, its requires being pruned

Never said I liked the process, but I’ve been sealed by God’s crest

My prayer is simply this: “Purify my yes.”